The talk in football
Christmas would not be Christmas without a man with a white beard, but Chelsea appear to be making an exception. Former chairman Ken Bates has been refused permission to hold his annual Yuletide party at Stamford Bridge, ending a 20-year tradition. "We would rather you didn't," was the official response to his request.
As Roman Abramovich's regime continues to purge links with the immediate past, the party has gone the same way as Bates's infamous supper clubs. Despite pressure from their more sociable fans, Chelsea have decided to scrap the monthly gatherings at which Bates used to hold forth on a range of topics. Instead they will focus on organising a series of events to celebrate the club's centenary next year.
Ad nausea for Gunners
Why were Arsenal fans hurling fruit, vegetables and other missiles at a giant poster advertising a computer game? Perhaps it had something to do with the decision of the folks behind Club Football 2005 to erect a 45ft-long billboard for the Tottenham version of the game - complete with images of Jamie Redknapp and other Spurs stars - just a stone's throw away from Highbury.
Not surprisingly, the poster has now been removed from the junction of Blackstock Road and Brownstock Road and replaced with one selling the Arsenal version.
Orient fan gets No2 hit
Leyton Orient are offering punters a chance to follow in the footsteps of Tord Grip and Pat Rice and become an assistant manager. The winner of their Ladbrokessponsored competition will work as Martin Ling's No2 for the club's first-round FA Cup match next month. Chairman Barry Hearn said: "I'm looking forward to welcoming someone with a bit of football knowledge and plenty of bottle." To enter, fans must place a bet with the bookmaker at Brisbane Road.
An arresting similarity
Jacques Santini has spent plenty of time at the Clairefontaine Academy, but could he also be a graduate of Police Academy? Talk reader Daniel Peak thinks the former France coach is a dead ringer for Officer Eugene Tackleberry (David Graf) from the film.
Hammers strip a winner
West Ham may no longer be in the Premiership, but their results are still arousing plenty of interest. Fans have been flocking to a new website devoted to the self-styled "West Ham Lass", who has pledged to remove an item of clothing every time Alan Pardew's side win a game this season. "The more wins we get, the more of her you will get to see," boasts the home page.
The mystery woman is too shy to give her name or show her face but insists: "I am not the fat lady-bloke off Big Brother, nor am I a Dagenham slapper. I have stood on the terraces at Rotherham, been to Burnley on a Tuesday night and cringed at the awful 6-0 defeat at Old Trafford. For all of those that have enjoyed the site so far, just wait to see what happens as we continue to win!"
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