I had nothing left in the tank after giving my sample

13 April 2012

I was woken up by a ring on the doorbell at 6am yesterday and was greeted by a doping official standing on my doorstep.

You'd obviously rather that they came when you were training but that's part and parcel of being a professional athlete and trying to keep every sport clean.

When you get asked to give a urine sample, the tester has to stay with you from the moment they arrive until you deliver it.

That wasn't a problem first thing yesterday but I was also tested on Saturday.

It was after the time trial at the seniors on Dorney Lake. I had about four hours between my time trial and the final and the problem was that I just didn't need to go. So, I had this tester hanging around with me for three hours until I did enough of a sample which wasn't exactly ideal preparation for the final.

The trials didn't exactly go to plan for me. I ended up fourth, which was an improvement on last year when I was sick and missed the event altogether. But it was frustrating as it's the first time in about 10 years that I've not finished in the top two at a trials before.

I don't like to make excuses but my preparations were far from perfect. I'd had a bit of an injury niggle in the build-up which cost me some time out of the boat and I had just 10 days to get properly ready for the race itself.

I decided to give it everything in the race and for all but the last 200 metres it was going to plan.

Zac Purchase, who I row in the pair with, was bossing the event but I'd been second for most of the race.

However, then I just completely died. There was just nothing left in the tank at all. I couldn't see and my legs wouldn't work, in fact my entire body wouldn't work.

For about 25 minutes after the finish, I was in absolute agony - we're talking vomiting and full body shutdown. It's not pleasant but in a way it was good. I pushed my body to the limit and know that next time I can maybe even push a little further.

It's probably difficult for non-rowers to comprehend. We probably seem quite sick and I'm sure we'd be locked up if we were in another walk of life!

But I liked the idea that I gave it a complete go and didn't have that niggling feeling of 'I couldn't have done so and so'. I think the team bosses were pleased with how I did bearing in mind there was a point not long ago where it looked like I wasn't going to compete in the trials.

Despite finishing fourth, I'd like to think that Zac and I are still the best pair out there but that's up to the team bosses to decide. I'm confident they'll stick with us. I guess we'll find out when the team are announced next month for the World Cup season.

I've got to say I had a great setting for the trials preparation with the rest of the squad in Varese, Italy. I know we've been having some nice weather in London but in Italy it was just pure sunshine for two weeks and flat water every day for training.

My injury cleared in time for me to train on the first day of the camp and it was a great one - thanks in part to some top Italian ice cream - but the trials perhaps came a week too early for me.

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