Alexandra Burke feels 'guilty' about enjoying Strictly Come Dancing after mother's death

Burke broke down in tears after she received a near perfect score for her Jive
Emotional: Alexandra Burke with Gorka Marquez
BBC/Guy Levy
Emma Powell24 October 2017
The Weekender

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Alexandra Burke has revealed she felt “guilty” for enjoying her time on Strictly Come Dancing so soon after her mother’s death.

Melissa Bell died on August 28, the day Burke kicked off filming for the BBC ballroom launch show.

The pop star recently broke down in tears after she scored 39 points out of a possible 40 for her Jive to Tina Turner’s Proud Mary with partner Gorka Marquez after she spotted her brother in the audience.

Burke said crying on Saturday night TV was the “last thing” she wanted to do, but said the “emotion got too much for me”.

Perfect score: Alexandra Burke dancing the Jive with Gorka Marquez
BBC

“If I could lock up my grief and my emotions in a box and throw them in the sea, I would,” she told Radio Times.

“I'm not somebody who wants to cry on TV, believe me. It's the last thing I want to do and I've tried really hard not to, but following our jive the emotion just got too much for me.

“I wasn't that happy with it in rehearsal and I wasn't expecting to perform it that well or get the high scores I did, so that minute and 37 seconds on the dance floor felt electric.”

So happy: The X Factor winner said she is genuinely excited to be on the BBC ballroom show
Guy Levy/PA

She continued: “It was the happiest I have been for a very long time.

“But then I saw my brother in the audience on the screen and, within a split second, my delight turned to overwhelming sadness as I imagined my mum sitting alongside him.

“I immediately felt guilty for feeling such joy.”

Burke said Marquez also cried as he had been unaware of how much she was struggling.

She said: “I don't want to bring my personal stuff to rehearsals. The rehearsal room has become my sanctuary – it is a happy place where I force myself to leave my grief at the door and focus on being creative and having fun.”

Strictly Come Dancing 2017 - In pictures

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Strictly Come Dancing is on BBC One, Saturday at 6:35pm

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