The Londoner: Ministers missing in Syria action

Ministers miss key cabinet meeting / Bonus season at Cambridge Analytica / Rosamund Pike rubbishes women playing Bond / Why was Fiona Hill known as Scampi?
Absent: Liam Fox
15 April 2018

SENIOR Government ministers were ordered home for an emergency Cabinet meeting on British military intervention in Syria that lasted two-and-a-quarter hours last night. But five panicked ministers were stranded abroad. They were health minister Jeremy Hunt, leader of the House of Commons Andrea Leadsom, energy minister Claire Perry, International Trade Secretary Liam Fox and Liz Truss, Chief Secretary to the Treasury.

Hunt was in Tokyo for a health conference and “unable to get back”, according to an official, “because of flight times”. Fox was similarly defeated by airline scheduling: he is in Seattle visiting Amazon, Boeing and Starbucks. Perry was in New York. Leadsom is in an undisclosed location on holiday with her children. A spokesman for her said: “She’s with family. She couldn’t get her flight changed. She received the invite very late. She did make the attempt but it just wasn’t possible.”

Because of the time differences, none of the missing ministers was patched into the Cabinet meeting by phone but all were briefed beforehand by Gavin Barwell, Theresa May’s chief-of-staff.

Leadsom was called by both Barwell and the Chief Whip, Julian Smith. “She was very satisfied with the briefing,” says her aide. “She was naturally disappointed not to be able to attend, and does take the matter very seriously.”

Truss was stuck in Chile talking about public spending control. Earlier yesterday she wrote on Twitter: “São Paolo is a teeming, Insta-loving, Uber-riding megalopolis.” Later she tweeted more sombrely: “Regrettably, due to flight timings, I was unable to return to London in time for today’s important meeting. I have confirmed with No 10 my strong support for the Prime Minister’s stance. The appalling use of chemical weapons cannot go unchallenged.”

There is no suggestion that the ministers’ absence contributed to the inconclusive outcome.

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Bonus time at the turbulent data firm

I hear that Cambridge Analytica, the data firm at the centre of the Facebook privacy scandal, has been giving out bonuses “left, right and centre”. A new (and young) staffer tells me she has received a “large bonus” and is giddy thinking about what to spend it on. Unkind critics might suggest that these bribe-like bonuses are to stop staff leaving the turbulent firm.Or perhaps CA is reminding employees of the importance of loyalty. Meanwhile, Alexander Nix – the suspended CEO – has been accused of using bribes to sway elections.

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Phone wary: Pamela Anderson (Photo by Ricky Vigil M/GC Images)
GC Images

Pamela Anderson, BFF of Julian Assange, believes checking your phone makes your partner feel ignored. “This creates unhealthy jealousies,” she says. “The next thing you know, your lover is checking your computer histories, stalking you on social media, trying to find any hint of infidelity.” Quite the acceleration.

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TONY Blair’s “tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime” was actually dreamed up by Gordon Brown. But a clip from 1991 has re-emerged of an American senator with a New York drawl: “If you wanna get tough on crime, let’s deal with the causes of crime.” Step forward Bernie Sanders -the original Blairite?

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Offspring of the Primrose Hill set come out to celebrate Fendi

Scion: Clementine Linares and Rafferty Law (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images for Fendi)
Dave Benett/Getty Images for Fen

IT WAS the march of millennial “children of” on the South Bank last night. Rocco Ritchie, son of Madonna and Guy, was among famous offspring at Fendi’s fashion launch. Also there were Molly Moorish, daughter of Liam Gallagher and Lisa Moorish, actress Renee Stewart, daughter of Rod, and Tigerlily Taylor, daughter of Queen drummer Roger. Jude Law and Sadie Frost’s son Rafferty Law brought his girlfriend Clementine Linares.

Happily there was no sign that these well-behaved progeny had any intention of reliving the hedonistic days of the Nineties “Primrose Hill set”.

They were joined by rappers Professor Green and Diploand Eric Underwood, dancer, on Waterloo’s Leake Street for the launch of a Fendi capsule collection on Net-a-Porter. The Italian house revealed its new FF logo is “tailored towards the social media generation”.

I-spy a spin-off

Rosamund Pike, who was a “Bond girl” in Die Another Day, yesterday mauled the idea that 007 should be a woman.

“The character of James Bond is a man. Why should a woman get sloppy seconds? Why should she once have been a man and now it has to be played by a woman? There is nothing really about the James Bond written by Ian Fleming that resembles a woman. It’s a very masculine creation.”

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Scented: Cate Blanchett (Photo by Darren Gerrish/WireImage/Darren Gerrish for Giorgio Armani)
WireImage/Darren Gerrish for Gio

CATE Blanchett was among guests at the opening of the new Giorgio Armani and Armani/Casa boutiques last night. The Oscar-winner is the face of one of the brand’s fragrances.

SW1A

Sooty and Sweep (l), not pictured: Fiona Hill aka Scampi (Photo by Mark Cuthbert/UK Press via Getty Images)
UK Press via Getty Images

WHY was Fiona Hill known as Scampi? One is a naughty glove puppet from children’s The Sooty Show, the other Theresa May’s former spad. While Scampi (who suffers from ergophobia) was getting into scrapes on TV, Hill was causing chaos with Nick Timothy in the Home Office and No 10. Hill’s capers: leaking stories about Michael Gove, sending incendiary texts and exploding the 2017 election campaign.

An ex-government source tells me: “The joke was Fiona was Scampi because she got the blame for everything. There was a printout of Scampi on the office wall.” And who was to blame for the nickname? “Fiona started it herself.”

Instead, she says: “Take one of the Bond girls and give her her own story. So create an unexpected, unapologetic, kick-ass female agent and yes, I’ll play her.” Kapow.

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We are told that Westminster protection officers, the brave and tolerant souls who accompany high-profile politicians on their daily duties, overwhelmingly favour working with Tory MPs. Why? “Because they go to more interesting places,” one security veteran confides.

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