Londoner's Diary: Philosopher’s jumper to stop woolly thinking

Thought provoking: Alain de Botton
Leon Neal: Getty
11 September 2015

Seeking to lead a more reflective, thoughtful life this London Fashion Week? There’s an expensive jumper for that. On The School of Life website, founder Alain de Botton — everyone’s favourite pop philosopher — “invites us to share in the philosophical life: one of soul-searching, interesting relationships, impassioned argument and bold speculation” by purchasing a black 100 per cent merino wool jumper “designed to endure”. One would hope so for £150 (plus delivery).

The sweater has been co-designed by Bella Freud, daughter of Lucian and highly respected in her own right for her quirky £300 woollies. For Freud, “the black jumper is the ideal suit of armour to contain you while allowing you to free your thoughts”. Thoughts such as “know yourself”, written on a small label, protrude from the side of the sweater.

Each jumper comes with a mysterious “supporting booklet” and buyers are recommended to purchase one size larger than normal, presumably because it causes you to swell with higher thoughts/hot air. Or perhaps from over-indulging in “Philosopher’s Honey” — £25 for three jars.

Other contemplative items include a £180 comfort blanket which “understands” you and “helps us find a better frame of mind so that later on we are strong enough to get back out into the world”.

At which point you’ll need a pair of Philosopher’s Shoes, designed by Oliver Sweeney. These help you avoid the fate of Ancient Greek philosopher Thales, so busy staring at the skies that he fell in a well. With a pair of £179 unisex slip-ons you can keep your “head in the stars, feet on the ground” — and credit card in hand.

***

Ed Miliband has become something of a punchbag of late but even he may be taken aback by the latest attack from within Labour ranks. MP John Spellar’s chores include compiling a news digest for fellow MPs. Earlier this week an email of his included a link to a New Statesman article explaining how the current Labour leadership rules were devised. Some imp added the caption “Sheds some light but doesn’t resolve the question ‘Ed Miliband — Bozo or Bennite’.” Ouch.

Watson finds Parliament a bit of a maze

Tom Watson, the shoo-in to be the new Labour deputy leader, seemed to get a bit lost in the Commons on Monday night. He wandered into the Noe lobby in one of many lengthy votes on the European referendum but alas this was actually the same voting lobby as the Conservatives. MPs say Watson realised his mistake and dashed to the Aye lobby to nullify the score. Hence he is on the list attached as having voted both ways. A Labour veteran comments drily: “He’s a bit out of practice.” Watson is said to have the joint lowest voting record of any Labour MPs, according to the Sun.

It’s a double for the Professor

East London descended on Soho last night for the launch of Professor Green’s autobiography, Lucky, at Lights of Soho, London’s most respected light-art gallery. The tattooed rapper, real name Stephen Manderson, spent much of his time inhaling Spit & Roast chicken from a street-food van outside, before nosing around downstairs to find his pals Wretch 32, pictured above right, and Ella Eyre, centre, as well as Gizzi Erskine and The Klaxons’ Jamie Reynolds. Manderson was on a double high, celebrating not only the publication of his book but his two-year wedding anniversary with Millie Mackintosh.

Faulks boys keep the ace count high

Earlier this year author Sebastian Faulks, pictured, explained that he was sick of the isolation of writing and wanted a real job, with water coolers and PAYE numbers. The Londoner promptly offered him a desk but he rebuffed us, as he was clearly too busy with his new novel Where My Heart Used to Beat. Nevertheless, he invited us along to his launch party in the gardens of Leighton House in Holland Park last night, where he thanked everyone who had helped him, including his brother Edward Faulks, “as he used to be before he was elevated”.

Author Sebastian Faulks
Peter Macdiarmid / Getty

Three years Sebastian’s senior, Lord Faulks QC is the Minister of State for Justice, which can play havoc with the pair’s weekly Sunday tennis matches in west London. “There was a very odd moment one night, when we were playing up on Campden Hill,” Sebastian Faulks explained. It was clear that Seb had the upper hand in the match. “This very nice Scottish lady who runs the bar on Sunday nights came running across the courts halfway through the game and said, ‘Edward, Edward, there’s a phone call from Number 10 Downing Street! As underhand tactics go...”

Also on the list of thank- yous was Faulks’s wife Veronica, who receives a dedication in the book in Italian: “la bellezza si risveglia l’anima di agire”. “I’ve no idea what it means,” Faulks joked, “but I got it off the Juventus site.” What a charmer.

***

Rupert Murdoch is always ahead of trends, putting money into younger staples such as MySpace and Vice. Two days ago it was announced that he has bought a majority stake of natural history magazine National Geographic for $725 million. This morning it is in every newspaper after publishing a discovery of a skeleton of a human ancestor. So the neanderthal media still has clout, then?

Napoleon complex, non?

To Sotheran’s of Sackville Street, where London’s most pinguid historian, Andrew Roberts, launched yet another book, Elegy: The First Day on the Somme.

Roberts is still fixated on his hero Napoleon, however, subject of the best-selling 2014 biography. He and fellow author Kate Williams, biographer of Napoleon’s wife Josephine, were in deep discussion over the film rights to their respective books, bought by Harvey Weinstein. But who will play the 19th-century power couple? Williams has her eyes on “that Tautou lady, from the Amélie film”, to play her lead. And Napoleon? We’ve been racking our brains and can’t come up with anyone to take the part bar Roberts himself. Williams was inclined to agree.

Get your bicorn on, Andrew.

Expenses claim of the day: former Labour MP Anne McGuire demanded a rebate of 2p for stationery, which suggests she buys individual sheets of copier paper.

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