Young London SOS: Steven Caulker - The time to tackle issues is when you are young

West Ham United v Tottenham Hotspur - Premier League
Fighting on: Steven Caulker playing for Tottenham Hotspur in 2013 
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When England footballer Steven Caulker casts his mind back to his childhood, he can see clearly that the root of his battles with mental health started then.

During his career with Tottenham Hotspur, QPR and England, he spiralled into depression and turned to alcohol and gambling for relief. It started with playing slot machines at age 15 in a betting shop, but four years later he was in rehab as he tried to use drink to escape from his depression.

Caulker, now 29, just wanted to escape and those were patterns he believes he developed as a child, where anxiety and a deep fear of failure overwhelmed him: “I never thought as a child I had a problem or something that I could get help for, I never realised it until much later.”  

The defender, who played 123 times in the Premier League and scored on his England debut in a friendly against Sweden in 2012, added: “Football was my first addiction. I was obsessed with football. I would constantly live in a fantasy world around it. I would never be where I was because I was always dreaming of football — playing, watching — and it took me away from myself. That’s what addiction does, it’s an escape from reality.”

Caulker is not alone in his experience of feeling alone or unable to articulate or share his problems, and that is why Place2Be — the charity at the heart of our Young London SOS campaign to tackle the rising crisis of mental health among children — do the work they do.

Place2Be are the UK’s largest school-based counselling service, operating in 150 primary and secondary schools in London and Caulker, who went to school in Hounslow, can see the benefit he might have gained by speaking to someone like them growing up.

He said: “I think it would have given me an understanding of myself, though it is hard to say whether I would have sat and listened to somebody, because often, in my experience [as an adult], it has to be someone I relate to, like ex-addicts who have been through similar struggles. But I could have done with that insight into the reasons I felt like I did.”

He added: “Looking back, I was so scared for my exams. And not nervous, as in like everyone is nervous, but really petrified of failing. To escape, I would think — I am going to be a footballer. Those patterns originated as a child and, I guess, if someone had asked me — what are you feeling? — it could have been different. I am not saying it would have changed my path, but it may have given me a chance to turn it round quicker than I did.”

Caulker has indeed transformed his life, but it has not been easy. At 22, his father confronted him to accept he was depressed and seek help, but Caulker was in denial. And when QPR’s doctor prescribed him the antidepressant Sertraline, Caulker would pretend to take the tablets but never swallow them.

Today he is on that same medication and rebuilding his career in Turkey with Alanyaspor — and recently he achieved two years as sober. He has since opened up to his family and the wider public about his struggles, finding the experience “refreshing”. It has affected how he raises his 10-year-old son, who he has struggled to see regularly over the past year due to Covid-19 restrictions making it difficult for him to visit him in the UK. “I am open with my son and explain to him what I have been through. I talk to him on a level and ask what he is feeling. So if he is in trouble at school, I ask, what is going on? Rather than telling him off, I try get an understanding of what he is feeling. I have learned the hard way that the time to tackle issues is when you are young.”

Caulker is keen to help others who are struggling and that extends to this interview. After speaking to the Standard and hearing about the work of Place2Be, he wanted to make a donation. “It is nice to see the Standard aligning with a charity doing such positive work. I am sure it will change the lives of many children.”

Donate today

You can support the Young London SOS campaign by donating to Place2Be HERE

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