Parents criticised for 'boast posts' on Facebook over children's exam results

Criticism: Mumsnet head Justine Roberts
Daniel Hambury
Anna Davis @_annadavis4 September 2015

Parents have been warned against publishing “boast posts” on Facebook about their children’s exam results because it upsets other teenagers who failed.

Families are no longer just bragging about their children in their annual “round robin” Christmas cards but are now boasting about their exam successes on social media as well, education experts say.

The trend was revealed by the Good Schools Guide, which said it risks making life a misery for children who fail their exams and their parents.

The guide’s latest newsletter said: “What has happened to us? Has reticence, once a defining English character trait, withered quietly away?”

The bulletin, written by Janita Clamp, senior editor at the guide, said children who fail exams are most badly affected because they are constantly reminded of their failure on social media.

It said: “What fresh hell is this? Now we feel obliged to ‘like’ the academic achievements of children we’ve never met, because if you’ve ever pressed ‘like’ under a picture of an acquaintance’s pet, you have to do the same under their results day boast post. Don’t you?

“And spare a thought for the child who has ‘failed’ or a parent trying to manage the emotional fallout from a missed university place. They must feel trapped in someone else’s awful party.”

The newsletter added: “Receiving bad news in public is, well, bad enough but at least you can go home to lick your wounds in private. A cup of tea and a comforting browse through social media might be restorative. Yes? No!”

“While the much-parodied Christmas round robin bragathon comes but once a year, there seems to be no closed season for boasting about one’s children on social media.”

Ms Clamp said the newsletter struck a chord with many parents who emailed her with their own examples. She told the Standard: “A lot of people said ‘yes this is absolutely right’.

“It hit a nerve. It is extremely uncomfortable, especially if your own child hasn’t done well. I think it is boasting. If you wanted to tell your family your child’s results you would text them.

“The people who got in touch said they thought parents were seeking validation for themselves by boasting about their children.”

Justine Roberts, head of Mumsnet, called on parents posting their children’s results to be sensitive. But parenting website Netmums said parents should be able to express their pride.

She said: “Of course, it's fair enough to be proud of children who've worked hard or done well, but it's also good to be a bit sensitive about the fact that not everyone will be in the same boat.'

Anne-Marie O’Leary, Editor In Chief of Netmums, said: “Of course there will always be some children who do better than others academically, but it would be a sad day for all if parents feel they can't express pride in their children’s achievements within their own social network. Celebrating proud moments, no matter how big or small, can help to foster a sense of achievement and worth in children after all, and shouldn’t be seen as boasting.”

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