The black father 'crisis': Cameron backed by black mums and organisations

13 April 2012

Conservative party leader David Cameron calls for black fathers to take more responsibility for their children

David Cameron echoed the words of Barack Obama yesterday by calling for absent black fathers to take more responsibility for their children.

The Conservative leader called for a 'responsibility revolution' to change patterns of behaviour.

Mr Cameron's high-risk appeal appeared to pay off, winning widespread support from leading members of the black community. They agreed that the lack of traditional family influences is a serious problem.

One of Britain's most prominent black police officers told the Daily Mail Mr Cameron was right to highlight a 'crisis in fatherhood'.

Detective Inspector George Rhoden, president of the National Organisation of Black Law Enforcement Executives, said: 'We all know that young people need both parents in their lives. This is a particular issue and we should be dealing with it at a governmental level, looking at how we can encourage black fathers to face their responsibilities.

'In the black community we are all aware that there is major concern with gun and knife crime. Clearly we are not the only part of the community affected by absent fatherhood but parental responsibility should be of major concern.'

Labour ministers have been anxious to play down the idea that the absence of fathers is a major influence on crime rates. Around 59 per cent of black Caribbean children and 54 per cent of mixed-race youngsters are looked after by a lone parent. In the white British population, the figure is 22 per cent.

MPs who have investigated the problem say that in the absence of a male role model, many young black men choose to emulate negative, violent lifestyles popularised in some black music and in films.

The charities Barnardos and Babyfather warn that boys and young men can develop 'father hunger', a state which leaves them vulnerable to peer pressure.

Mr Cameron said that Mr Obama had been 'absolutely right' to warn in a recent speech that some African American men were behaving like teenagers and abandoning their parental responsibilities.

He said that many black church leaders had expressed their concerns to him about absent fathers in the UK.

'They are concerned about family breakdown and social breakdown, and want to see what I call a responsibility revolution take place.'

The Tory leader said the discrimination and economic disadvantage black people experienced had to be addressed, but insisted: 'We will never solve the long-term problems unless people also take responsibility for their own lives.'

Mr Cameron has suggested that a Conservative government would introduce powers to 'compel' fathers to look after their children in an effort to tackle gang culture. He backs tax breaks to help families stay together and promote a 'culture of responsibility and respecting authority'.

The Reverend Nims Obunge, chief executive of the Peace Alliance, one of London's main organisations working against gang crime, welcomed Mr Cameron's remarks and urged him to back them up with concrete policies.

Tony Sewell, director of Generating Genius, a charity which encourages black youths to study science, said: 'This is an issue that needs to be discussed, and Cameron is well placed to discuss it, as it is in keeping with the current Tory agenda around social investment. This used to be very much a Labour agenda, but Labour isn't delivering on it.'

And what do the women themselves have to say? LORRAINE FISHER interviews four women who have personal experience of the problem of absentee black fathers.


'If a boy sees his dad run off, he thinks it's OK for him to leave too''

Maria Thomas and daughter Cutania

Maria Thomas and daughter Cutania

Marva Thomas, 36, lives in Hackney, East London, with her husband Owen, a 36-year-old self-employed builder. They have a three-year-old daughter, Cutania, and a son due in October. She says:

The culture with black parents is that when you split up, you don't see each other any more. I don't know how you can change it.

Black fathers need to step up to the plate and say to their ex-partner: 'Let's do this together' because if a boy sees his father run off, he thinks it's OK for him to leave too when he has a child.

Men leaving their children within black society is part of the culture.

Most men get involved with a woman simply on a sexual level - yet the women think they're in a relationship.

The moment they become a father they say: 'No, I'm not ready for that, I want to be free and single'.

In Jamaica, where I'm from, ghettos have taken over.

Ghetto people think if a man isn't wearing this and doing that, they're not a man. They feel they have this image to live up to.

And the girls are silly. Despite the man they're seeing not taking care of his child at home, they move in with him, thinking it will be different for them. Of course, when they get pregnant, he moves on.

Men's attitude is: 'If you want a baby, I can give you a baby - but don't expect me to look after it'.

I don't remember my mum and dad ever living together. He was there for weekends although when I was about 11, it stopped. He was cheating and Mum wouldn't put up with it. He didn't really pay child support so my mum was working more than one job to support us.

It hurt me to see my friends going to the movies with their fathers when I couldn't, but it hurts sons more, although they don't feel able to show it. So they start taking things out on women.

My brother, who's two years older than me, didn't know how to talk about it. And he never forgave my father for leaving us.

He missed out on love from his father and there was no one to instil principles and values into him - like how to treat a woman and how to be a man. He has three children by three different women. He even denied the first child was his.

Because so many black men leave their families, I do worry about my daughter's future.

I'm in a good marriage but I want her to have a career, to be independent, so she can support herself and her children if a man leaves her.

'Boys who see weakness will try to dominate'

Judith Valentine and son Karl

Judith Valentine and son Karl

Judith Valentine, 44, lives in Ladywell, South-East London, with her four sons - Ashley, 15, Stefan, 14, and 13-year- old twins Karl and Kallum. She says:

I was divorced 11 years ago and the boys' father doesn't help with anything and they don't see him.

I've tried to get money from him but it's like getting blood from a stone and although he's had the chance to see them, he hasn't.

It's common in the black men I know. I know they may begrudge their wife but I don't know why they'd stop seeing their kids.

Bringing up four boys on my own has been hard. I've just qualified as a teaching assistant and am looking for a job, but for most of their lives, I've been on benefits.

You can't give your children what they want - you try to explain why they can't have the latest trainers but they won't accept it.

They need a father figure. I'm just a mother, I can't give them fatherly advice and I don't know what they're going through. But I'm trying to bring them up the right way.

I hope my sons don't abandon their children, I hope they say: 'I'm not going to do the same to my kids'.

If a mother puts her mind to it, she can be as strong a parent as a man. The problem comes if they are too soft - that's where the children go wrong.

If a boy sees weakness, it's natural for him to try to dominate. You have to really put your foot down.

I come down on mine like a ton of bricks - I won't let them out at night, they're in by 9pm. They listen to what I say.

I don't think any more black men leave their families than white men, or fathers from other races, but it is a problem and it needs addressing.

'We shouldn't get pregnant so readily'

Anne Marie Smith

Anne Marie Smith

Anne Marie Smith is a 43-year-old counsellor from Camberwell, South-East London. She has a 17-year-old daughter, Simone. She says:

There are many more black one-parent families than Caucasian or Asian. It's a crazy situation but one that people aren't open about.

I think they're fearful of people playing the race card or of stereotyping black males for not being around their children.

I think it's caused by a combination of things. There are some black men who pull their weight but not many - and women play a part in that.

If you allow your child's father to treat you a certain way, it will continue, it won't improve.

Black women are independent and just get on with it, but we should make sure we have more solid relationships before we get pregnant.

My daughter was about one when I split up with her father. She says she hasn't missed out because we're quite close and she has seven uncles.

It's different for boys, however - they need a role model and there are no prominent positive role models at the moment.

There is no expectation that children will do well, they're not monitored or disciplined. Discipline is hard for a single mother to administer to a boy.

I think black men have to learn they have to own their responsibilities. You can't get a woman pregnant and walk away.

But I don't know how you can do that. Black men need to provide the answers.

'The children grow up with no role model'

Patricia Brown

Patricia Brown

Patricia Brown is a 42-year-old factory worker from Catford, South-East London. She has three children - Joseph, 29, and Kerrin, 26, from one relationship, and Peter, 20, from another. She says:

What David Cameron says is not racist - black fathers do need to take more responsibility.

They have children here, there and everywhere because they know the responsibility lies with the mother. They need to be educated and sent to parenting classes.

It's now getting out of hand with teenagers stabbing people - something needs to be done but there is no quick fix.

The problem is, when men leave their families, the mothers have to work so the children grow up on their own with no father figure or role model. There is no one to set boundaries or let the children know there is always a consequence.

Fathers rather than mothers have the power to make their children get home at a certain time or challenge them about why they are carrying a knife.

A single mother is often too tired to even ask how her children's day was at school. And I should know.

I didn't mean to get pregnant at 13 but I did and I thought I was in a good relationship.

We had a second child but then I found out he had two other children with two other women so, when my daughter was seven, I ended the relationship.

So many black men who finish their relationship with the mother also finish their relationship with their children and forget about them.

Luckily, my children's father saw them at weekends but even so, I had to work five, often six days a week in a factory to make ends meet, then I had to go home to do all the washing, cooking and cleaning. It was exhausting.

But I don't think my children have suffered - I've made them independent. Joseph is married and has an 18-month-old son. He was old enough when his father left to know he didn't want to do that.

Kerrin has a five-year-old daughter - the father went off with someone else.

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