Married teams can work for or against you

Terror victim: Linda Norgrove, whose death lies at the door of the Taliban
12 April 2012

It is not surprising that a Labour leader who learned Marxism at his father's knee should preside over a Bolshevik-style reshuffle of his shadow cabinet. Still, Ed Miliband's ruthless management of his two potential rivals, Yvette Cooper and Ed Balls, is startling.

Here is a couple steeped in economic theory and experience. Cooper is officially the most popular person in the Labour Party. Yet she is given the job of Foreign Secretary, with patronising additional responsibilities for female equality. I wonder what Hillary Clinton would have thought of being appointed Secretary of State (women's interests).

Responding with characteristic eagerness and youthful dragging of vowels ("me" is pronounced "may"), Cooper said global issues such as the global economy had direct consequences for Britain. Her face lit up at the word.

Miliband's Trotsky-like genius is to understand the domestic dynamic. Here is a woman who declined to stand for the leadership against her husband, citing her small children as the reason. Cooper's former critics (she has only fans now) accused her of clocking out of the office sharply to be with her children. We all know that what makes working mothers' lives very difficult is erratic hours and foreign travel. Foreign Secretary is about the worst job you could have.

I remember Margaret Beckett, a former foreign secretary, and her husband Leo talking happily of their travels, like any Saga couple free from childcare. Beckett became very fond of the Queen's Flight, although she boasted of the compensating frugality of washing her own underwear in foreign hotels.

Whether you choose a strong or pliable second-in-command is illuminating. Presumably Ed Miliband made his decision having seen his mentor Gordon Brown destroy Tony Blair's authority. Alan Johnson, the new shadow chancellor, is modest and self-deprecating, unprecedented qualities in a Chancellor and, in these times, unnerving.

If Ed Miliband had felt more self-confident, he might have welcomed a talented Left-wing two-for-one husband-and-wife team. It is a question of trust.

I once worked closely alongside my husband and we were equally devoted to our boss. A new boss, however, was deeply suspicious about the shared channels of information and our potential use of them. Eventually, he promoted me — which meant that my husband had to step down, because of conflict of interest. My boss forbade me to tell my husband about my new job and naturally I dis-
obeyed. I sat in my office on my first day, tears streaming down my face. The job turned out to be a disaster.

A couple in the office can be as good as gold unless you try to drive a wedge between them, and then their loyalty is naturally to each other. Ed Miliband should work closely with Mr and Mrs Balls, not try to separate and rule.

Our allies are not the villains

Last Thursday evening, an Afghan fashion show was held at Porchester Hall, in memory of the murdered aid worker Dr Karen Woo.

The co-organiser, Lady Jackson, wife of the former head of the Army, General Sir Mike Jackson, gave a heartfelt tribute to the work of Dr Woo in Afghanistan and promised that her legacy would live on.

Days later, we saw the dark side of that legacy, as another British aid worker, also very pretty and idealistic, died in a rescue attempt from the Taliban by US forces. The contradictory statements, first that Linda Norgrove was killed by a Taliban suicide vest, then more likely by an American grenade, have been seized on by anti- Americans and British military experts, who reckon they could have done better.

Clearly, the US and British governments were grim about the intent of the Taliban kidnappers, who demanded no ransom. It was believed Miss Norgrove was set to be moved up the terrorist chain into Pakistan. Was a hostage video about to be made? Whatever the tragic errors of the rescuing forces, they had no good options and they risked their own lives. There was no cover-up by commanders. They spoke up as soon as they saw footage evidence.

Let's remember where the blame lies for Karen, for Linda. It is not with our allies.

North Korea could yet have the last laugh

Conventional wisdom is that satire diminishes its target. If you render a powerful figure ridiculous you remove the menace.

Have we gone too far with the application of this theory to North Korea's Kim Jong Il? Since the spoof film Team America, a younger generation starts chorusing at the mention of his name: "I'm so rornery, rornery and sad ... still I work rary hard it seems like no one takes me seriously."

On the Today programme yesterday, a chuckling John Humphrys compared the newly revealed heir Kim Jong Un to the Miliband succession and gleefully quoted the official response of joy and gratitude from the population of North Korea.

There is a case for finding Kim Jong Il absolutely terrifying. Even the Team America song by the tiny psychopath includes the line: "When I change the world, maybe they'll notice it."

The best reply to teenage girls

The combination of Primark branches and charity shops in London means teenage girls are abundantly clothed. Every evening out is preceded by clothes flung on, discarded, compared.

I am reading Wait for Me! The memoirs of the Duchess of Devonshire and have taken to quoting her old nanny. As the girls dance around the bedroom in their different outfits, I sniff: "Nobody is going to be looking at you."

Deborah Devonshire said this putdown always worked, although she thought her nanny overdid it when she scolded Diana Mitford that nobody would be looking at her, even as she helped her into her wedding dress.

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