Legwork for bright sparks
"It's December," I hear you cry, "why aren't you writing about party dresses?" All in good time, my friends.
Today, we are here to talk about something far more important than the boned black corset dress we'll wear once, decide makes us look fat and then curse ourselves for spending £300 on.
We're here to talk about tights. Lovely, cosy, comfy, snuggly tights - the lynchpin of every woman's winter wardrobe.
Tights can make or break an outfit. Which is why your tights drawer should be stuffed full with as many varieties as possible - particularly this season, when tights are such a major fashion statement.
The biggest trend is for coloured tights, as seen on the catwalk at Marc Jacobs, Chloe and Alberta Ferretti. At Jacobs they acted as blocks of discordant colour: electric blue offsetting a trapeze-line orange dress. At Chloe, they were tangerine-bright and jarred with the bottle greens and lilacs of the clothes.
This is the newest way to wear them, but not the only way. At Alberta Ferretti, coloured tights were used to completely different effect, matching the clothes for an ultracoordinated look.
This works best with muted colours like heather, sage and chocolate: the colours to try if you're ditching black tights for the first time. As every woman knows, coloured tights are less flattering to the leg than black ones.
But while it's true that only the chicken-legged can pull off brightly coloured tights, there's nothing to stop you experimenting with darker hues.
I am cheered by the return of opaque black tights to the catwalk, and if you can't face coloured ones, then fret not - black is still fashionable. Black tights look fabulous with this season's bold prints, and uptothe-minute modern with bright or patterned courts.
If you're stumpy, wear black tights with black suede shoes instead of leather ones: it's the ultimate leg-lengthener, as nothing breaks up the line.
I am passionate about woolly tights, à la sixth form. Woolly tights are pure class, a far superior animal to their shiny, snaggy nylon counterparts. After several trips to John Lewis, I learn that my beloved Jonelle Wintersoft range has been discontinued (they couldn't source the right wool, apparently), and replaced by Cottonsoft tights (£5.95), which are far less cosy.
The store does, however, stock Kymen Sukka woollen tights for £11, and, for princesses, a deluxe cashmere blend of hose for £36.
I apologise to readers who were expecting more exciting instalments about Gwyneth's granny boots, but sometimes we have to turn our backs on the stars and think of our hosiery drawers. I confess I find tights a far more interesting topic than Gwyneth - and the funny thing is, I bet dear Gwyneth would agree.
