Adele - God love her but she’s a doll isn’t she? London and proud

It was a big night out last night for London’s girl, and we love her for it
The BRIT Awards 2022 - Media Room
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All power to Adele this week who, in the wake of her massive BRITs win (three, taking her all-time total to 12, just one shy of the man with the most, Robbie Williams - now there’s a possible duet for the ages), a stonking awards-ceremony performance and a brief mini-cancellation which appears to have had absolutely no impact whatsoever on her popularity, was last night seen living her absolute best life at Heaven nightclub in central London, where she crashed the judging of G-A-Y’s Porn Idol event. Oh yes.

After a period of roaring along to the music with her mates in a private alcove (accompanied by a stony-faced security chap) the trouser-suited star leapt onto the stage in front of the finalists and had a quick go on the pole while the clearly startled but delighted host Cheryl Hole looked on. After appearing to curtsey to Hole (note to subs: is that a bit ‘Mr Rascal’?) and a bit of a ramble which might well have been difficult to understand even if you were there and not watching it on shaky footage from someone’s phone, she asked, rather sweetly, “Could I have a say-so in who wins tonight?”

“You can have the final say, you’re f***in’ Adele,” replied Hole, who knows on which side the bread of publicity is buttered.

Choosing between Jack and Martha (poor Jack didn’t get much screen time from the phones in the audience, but dear Martha, standing there in her knickers, looked as gobsmacked as you might expect), the star had no qualms. “Alright, I pick her,” she said, pointing at the stunned woman. “100 percent. F***in’ sexy, f***in’ beautiful, f***in lovely...

“We love being females don’t we? We love being a f***in’ female,” she continued conspiratorially to her winner, who couldn’t have looked more beatifically astonished as she stood dwarfed by the star (I had no idea she was so tall) in her pants.

God love her, she’s a doll isn’t she? This was not, quite clearly, any kind of pre-planned publicity stunt. It is possible that Adele was, in fact, gloriously arseholed, though we couldn’t possibly comment (and we certainly would not judge). This was just a Tottenham girl, out on the lash with her mates and giving the people what they want, which is a glimpse of one of the world’s biggest stars being absolutely and unapologetically herself. London bloody loves you Adele, we’re so proud.

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