Anti-Valentine's Day 2019: Non-romantic paintings to see at London’s art galleries and exhibitions

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Lizzie Thomson14 February 2019

The Marmite of national days is upon us.

Much like Brexit, Valentine’s Day divides the nation into two camps — pro and anti.

For those that sit in the latter, London’s art scene is brimming with artworks offering the perfect distraction from soppy outbursts and unwelcome PDA.

From aggressive Cupids to deceptive lovers, the capital’s galleries boast a number of paintings that are far from amorous.

Romantics with no hope, cynics and those who just refuse to pump money into the commercial day, these are the paintings you should be visiting this February 14.

The Judde Memorial, Dulwich Picture Gallery

By permission of Dulwich Picture Gallery

The ceremonious words “till death do us part” take on a new meaning in this painting, as a couple take their wedding vows with a corpse lying between them — one that is apparently not related to either party. If that wasn't morbid enough, the typography at the bottom also states “live to die and die to live”, a reminder of the inevitable nature of death on the occasion — just what everyone wants on their special day.

Samson and Delilah, 1618-20, Sir Anthony Van Dyck, Dulwich Picture Gallery

By permission of Dulwich Picture Gallery

This painting by Van Dyck taps into an Old Testament tale of unrequited love and betrayal — a downer for any Valentine's fan. In a nutshell, Samson’s sweetheart Delilah is bribed by the Philistines. They offer her 1,100 pieces of silver to reveal the source of his immense strength and, eventually, she tells them that it lies in his hair. This painting captures the moment a Philistine approaches Samson, shears in hand, while he lays sleeping on Delilah. Poor lad.

Scorn, about 1575, Paolo Veronese, National Gallery

Scorn, about 1575, Paolo Veronese, National Gallery (The National Gallery, London. )
The National Gallery, London.

Cupid may be the god of love and affection but here he’s beating a man with his bow. The naked man is being punished for his lust towards a sensual yet chaste woman — it's thought the two women watching on represent those different characteristics, but it's safe to say they don't look too bothered by the commotion. This painting by Paolo Veronese is part of a series titled the Four Allegories of Love, this one is called Scorn. One thing is for sure — never get on the wrong side of Cupid.

Marriage A-la-Mode: The Inspection, about 1743, William Hogarth, National Gallery

The Inspection, about 1743, William Hogarth, National Gallery (The National Gallery, London)
National Gallery

There’s certainly a lot going on in this painting by William Hogarth. A British nobleman sits next to his child mistress and the tell-tale black spot on his neck suggests that he’s contracted venereal disease. He’s holding out a box of pills to a doctor that sits on the other side of the painting, while the child’s mother stands over him with a knife in hand. How romantic.

Marriage A-la-Mode: The Tête à Tête, about 1743, William Hogarth, National Gallery

Marriage A-la-Mode: 2, The Tête à Tête, about 1743, William Hogarth (The National Gallery, London)
National Gallery

This is the second of Hogarth’s Marriage A La Mode — a series of satirical paintings. It shows a marriage in crisis, between a nobleman and a merchant’s daughter. The husband is slumped on a chair having just pulled an all-nighter, most likely at a brothel, as the dog sniffs out a lady’s cap in his pocket. The chaos of the house and the straggler in the background suggests his wife hosted a party the previous evening, to distract herself from her failing marriage. Meanwhile their steward, carrying bills and a receipt, leaves the room in despair. The honeymoon period is most definitely over.

Eric Gill; Alice Mary (née Knewstub), Lady Rothenstein, William Rothenstein, National Portrait Gallery

Eric Gill; Alice Mary (née Knewstub), Lady Rothenstein by William Rothenstein, circa 1913
National Portrait Gallery, London

It’s safe to say the marriage in this painting doesn’t look like it’s going too well. Both parties look positively tired of one another, so much so that they can’t even make eye contact. The husband and wife in this painting are illustrator Eric Gill and actress Lady Alice Rothenstein — who was the daughter of artist John Knewstub and the pre-Raphaelite muse Emily Renshaw. Fingers crossed things picked up for the pair.

Natalie Bevan (née Ackenhausen, later Denny), Mark Gertler, 1928, National Portrait Gallery

Natalie Bevan (née Ackenhausen, later Denny) ('Supper (Natalie Denny)') by Mark Gertler, 1928
National Portrait Gallery, London

Who needs a partner to sit opposite you when you’ve got fantastic food at the table? If the greatest love in your life is food then this painting by Mark Gertler is just the ticket. It shows a woman, Natalie Bevan, surrounded by a brimming fruit basket, wine and some smaller bites. The room is vibrant with flowers and floral and she certainly looks content — looks like her Galentine's Day is going off a treat.

I.G, Gerhard Richter, 1993, La Caixa Collection at Whitechapel Gallery

Gerhard Richter, I.G. (730–3), 1993
Courtesy of the artist

This rather melancholy, lonely image at Whitechapel Gallery proves a worthy distraction from Valentine's Day. In Gerhard Richter’s portrait a naked female figure faces a dark interior, with her back turned away from the camera. The woman in question is actually Richter’s second wife, artist Isa Genzken, and the image was taken the year they separated. We're guessing from this, there will be no Valentine's card this year.

Best exhibitions to see in London this June

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